do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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