Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I didn't shave. On purpose
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
