i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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