who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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