Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
