Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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