Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I wish i was in the wii world.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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