talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
