Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
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he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
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Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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