Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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