I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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