Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
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