google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
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i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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