Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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