i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
