don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
