i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Randomize