My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
