we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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