I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
