Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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