I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
