I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
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