You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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