just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
