I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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