Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Randomize
