Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
