She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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