I got chris browned last night
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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