I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
