I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Actions speak louder than pants.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
it's like heaven, but drunker
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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