sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
