I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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