Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
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When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
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Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
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