Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
