My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
accomplished twins. life is a go
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
