Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
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