I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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