Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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