Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
