we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you inspire me to be a worse person
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize