Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
