using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
