youre lurking in front of me
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Randomize
