omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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