so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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