he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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