did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
My feet surprised me
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