Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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