Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
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Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
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"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
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