I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
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