Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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