i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
