Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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