No awkward lesbian experiences without me
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
