then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
