there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize