thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
