He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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