y did u give ur computer a hand job?
If that was your dad, he is hot
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Randomize
