My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
