We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
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