school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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