Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
