I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
